• No baggy clothes. Go to thrift stores and Hot Topic and get skinny pants. Boys need to wear mid-drift shirts. Clothes need to be "skin fucking tight." Cowboy boots are a must.

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• Girls need to cut their hair short and then add extensions so it looks "fake as fuck", it needs to be "a choppy mess... much like a cat or a raccoon on top of your head." Lots of bleach, then dye it black, so your hair looks "fried." Guys just need long hair.

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• Wear as much makeup as you can. Cake it on your face. Guys need it too.

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• Egotistical attitude. Your shit needs to smell like roses, that's how awesome you think you are.

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• You need a name from/for myspace.

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• Talk shit all the time, online. Use myspace. Don't do it face to face, fisticuffs will mess up your hair.

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• Buy or design your own necklaces.

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• Pick a stuffed animal as the new scene icon.

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• Join every online community you can, add everything to your favorites. You have to have myspace and have thousands of friends.

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• Straight guys need to "look like a faggot" and "act like a fag." The real faggots have to be transvestites. Girls need to look as "shitty as possible."

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• Start a trend. Example: "put bubbles in your hair and claim you brought back the ocean."

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• Attitude [again], "don't hate me because you ain't me."

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• You must be bisexual, because "liking one sex just isn't enough.

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• You must be skinny, take a lot of laxatives, anorexia is bad because you're always hungry, but bulimia is "a win/win situation."

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• Facial piercings everywhere, even on your ass.

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• You need to have a sidekick.

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• Cant use proper grammar; use 3s for Es, 0s for os, et cetera.

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• Photoshop your photos so you look plastic or dead. If you're ugly, stay inside. Photoshop only works on the internets.

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• You cannot claim scene.

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• To be scene is to be fake. Reality is not an option.